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  • CampusLatest News

Student Orgs Announce Bipartisan Party To Celebrate Biden’s Inevitable Victory

A number of student organizations on campus took the unprecedented step of planning a “compassionate, bipartisan celebration of Biden’s inevitable victory” to take place in the City Room Tuesday evening. The move was met with widespread acclaim on campus as…

  • Dorothy Butterbinger
  • November 3, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

Dr. Bradley Begins Practice Of Kissing Male Students On Forehead

After a weekend of Tweeting that boys should be touched more often by their fathers, Dr. Bradley announced that he will begin kissing every male student on their forehead to compensate for this lifelong lack of touching by older men.…

  • Timothy Timberwakenater
  • October 26, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

Head of Refuge Under Investigation For Taking Latin, Other Suspected “Traditional” Behaviors

The Head of Refuge, Mary-Ann Guthrie, came under fire Monday morning for what some consider to be overly “traditional” sympathies. Mary-Ann is under investigation primarily for taking Latin and asking her organization to recite the Nicene Creed after worship. After…

  • Phicleman Claperknock
  • October 26, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

TKC Students Now Required To Complete “Virtue Screening” Alongside COVID Measures

The King’s College’s Committee for Student Safety and Control announced Monday that all students would now have to complete a “virtue screening” alongside their daily COVID screening before they would be allowed on any campus property. Staff and faculty were…

  • Dorothy Butterbinger
  • October 26, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

TKC Business Department To Offer Course On Applying For Welfare, Better Preparing Students For Their Future

The TKC Business Department announced Friday morning that they would begin offering a class on the intricacies of applying for welfare benefits in the United States. This move was praised by the students in the department who have already had…

  • Timothy Timberwakenater
  • October 23, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

Statesmanship Institute Drops SERVE Model For New MARTYR Framework

The Student Development team announced Friday that it was dropping the SERVE Model in favor of the MARTYR Framework in all of its training of student leaders. Jonathan Sheaffer, leader of the Statesmanship Institute, delivered the announcement via an extended…

  • Phicleman Claperknock
  • October 23, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

Dr. Innes Announces New Book, “Left Of Christ Is Hell: An Unbiased Look At Why Liberals Are Way More Likely To Burn”

The King’s College announced that Dr. David C. Innes, Professor of Politics, will release his new book, “Left Of Christ Is Hell: An Unbiased Look At Why Liberals Are Way More Likely To Burn” on Thanksgiving Day this year. When…

  • Phicleman Claperknock
  • October 23, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

Dr. Kinlaw’s Day Away “Wandering” Indistinguishable From Normal Lecture

While King’s Day Away was regarded as a general success by the student body, some were confused about the way in which “Wandering with Dr. Kinlaw” was advertised. Joey Dickensome, a sophomore in the House of Reagan, had this to…

  • Phicleman Claperknock
  • October 19, 2020
  • CampusLatest News

Student Starts “Hurdle Club” To Prepare For Proposed $1 Subway Fare Increase

The King’s Council officially approved the “King’s Hurdlers Club” on Monday. The group gave a lengthy presentation on how it hopes to help uneducated students avoid the “draconian” MTA fare increase. The group’s founder, Jesh Tombo, a junior MCA major,…

  • Dorothy Butterbinger
  • October 19, 2020
  • CampusLatest NewsOpinion and Culture

King’s Boy Asks Girl On Date From Exchange Place Manhole

Jethro Dubblebubble, a freshman from the House of Lewis, found himself in the spotlight Monday after he asked his crush out from underneath a manhole cover on Exchange Place. Jessica Mit, a fellow freshman from Barton, had the pleasure of…

  • Timothy Timberwakenater
  • October 19, 2020
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