The Imperial Jester, Issue 1, Spring 2021

The Imperial Tribunal released the following statement Friday afternoon: “Though we are inclusive of all opinions and lifestyles, no matter how wacky, Dr. Thornbury was not nor never has been associated with The Imperial Tribunal. Stop asking about it.” This…
After some time serving as Faculty Advisor to The Imperial Tribunal, Dr. Thornbury will become the Chancellor of the paper and will no longer have any actual responsibility. His rapid physical deterioration had nothing to do with the decision. He…
The Imperial Tribunal is pleased to announce that Dr. Gregory Alan Thornbury will be serving as its faculty advisor from now until the end of time. Nothing foreseeable could change this relationship, and we look forward to all the great…
While men may still have a pay advantage in the postgraduate world, new data indicates that women have a massive leg up while still in school due to an industry largely off-limits to men: childcare. Young men are often forced…
Jethro Dubblebubble, a freshman from the House of Lewis, found himself in the spotlight Monday after he asked his crush out from underneath a manhole cover on Exchange Place. Jessica Mit, a fellow freshman from Barton, had the pleasure of…
We too, if we are being honest, kind of like “cancel culture.” We remember when authority figures in our time would get away with unspeakable injustices, yet no one (besides us) would speak against them. Thankfully, today’s authority figures must…
Mary-Louis Jenkins, a junior English major from rural Pennsylvania, was worried that she would never find a husband and would die an old maid. Her fiance was confused by this, however, and was distraught to find a mannequin in her…
In the week following Dr. Paul Mueller’s stand against the mask protocols at The King’s College, many students have taken to the place of free discourse at the school, Twitter, to complain viciously about the man. One student leading the…