The Imperial Tribunal is under new leadership after the entire editorial team failed out of The King’s College, the paper announced Thursday afternoon. While the editors were not known for their academic performance to begin with, they had hoped to…
Dr. Pincin announced that he would carry out his plan to administer an exam on “opportunity costs” in each of his classes on Thanksgiving day from noon to three that afternoon. Despite the overwhelming protests from his students, Dr. Pincin…
A catastrophic cyber attack hit The King’s College on Friday afternoon. The attacker was able to access student data stored on the Pharos “Student Conduct Platform” that the Student Development department uses to track their student’s virtue. The TKC Administration…
The TKC faculty held a contentious meeting on Tuesday in which they attempted to get clarity about their future at the institution from their overlords. The Administration is currently refusing to guarantee faculty contracts after the 2021-22 school year. Though…
The Interregnum Committee released the guidelines for its new “Ironman” film competition, which was received by the student body with notable controversy. Students unanimously detested the last two iterations of overnight film competitions so the Committee decided to double down…
During a faculty meeting Monday morning, the Rapture occurred. New York City as a whole did not notice much of a change, but millions of Christians across the world were lifted into the heavens to reunite with their Creator. The…
Interregnum Committee Chair, Micah Long, was happy to announce that the pre-credit screening of “27 Dresses” was successful. Interregnum pre-credit is a way for students to avoid spending their Saturday watching the smart people in their house have fun. Thankfully,…
In a surprisingly competitive race for the President of the United States, President Donald Trump and Former Vice President Joe Biden have effectively tied. Thankfully, the Constitution of the United States gives clear instructions for this unlikely case, saying in…
Career Development was happy to announce that they had found a category that 100% of recent graduates fit into after some alumni were confused to see the statistic that “98% of students had their hopes and dreams fulfilled within 6…
Dr. Talcott hosted a panel in the City Room on Thursday on the topic of what he argued was a literacy “epidemic” among women, by which he meant that there are way too many women who can read in the…
