Rapture During Faculty Meeting Takes Only Dr. Williams

During a faculty meeting Monday morning, the Rapture occurred. New York City as a whole did not notice much of a change, but millions of Christians across the world were lifted into the heavens to reunite with their Creator. The TKC faculty meeting, however, carried on as usual. Dr. Williams, who was sitting quietly in the back, as usual, extended his angelic wings and silently flew his way back home. 

Dr. Blander was napping next to him and did not notice. Dr. Johnson was perusing Twitter during a segment on classroom etiquette when he announced the news to the group. The professors were dumbfounded that the Lord had not noticed their holiness, especially that of the Religious and Theological Studies department. Dr. White especially questioned the authenticity of such a miracle, as he did not see it with his own eyes.

The MCA department stopped pretending to care a long time ago, so their response was not surprising to many onlookers. Dr. Kinlaw made the following statement via Twitter: “Rpt n mytg td, wndrg wo sll hr??”

Dr. Kinlaw’s tweet during the meeting.

When asked about Dr. William’s rapture, students were not surprised: “About halfway through the semester, I apostatized and began to worship Dr. Williams instead. In retrospect, it might not have been the best idea, but I am glad that he made it where he belongs. I am going to office hours with Dr. Bradley now, so hopefully, I’ll make it in the next round,” said Lydia Chastain, a freshman RTS major.

Dr. Williams’ classes will be taught by an adjunct, according to the Registrar’s office. Everyone already has a hundred so there was no need for any grade adjustments.