Dr. Pincin To Give Thanksgiving Day Exam On “Opportunity Costs”

Dr. Pincin announced that he would carry out his plan to administer an exam on “opportunity costs” in each of his classes on Thanksgiving day from noon to three that afternoon. Despite the overwhelming protests from his students, Dr. Pincin insisted the move was for their own good: “how else could I demonstrate how vital an understanding of opportunity costs is without making my students choose between their families and their futures? This is a chance for my students to demonstrate they are willing to give up health and happiness just to maintain their D- in my class.”

In the face of Dr. Pincin’s insistence on the good this exam will bring them, students were overwhelmed with anger at the move. Many who were looking for something to protest after many opportunities dried up in the last couple of weeks, took to the hallways to express their discontent in a socially distant manner. One student hoped to spend their Thanksgiving with their family: “I was going to go home and spend some quality time with my parents telling them how bad their politics are, but now I’m staying in New York and take this stupid exam. He gives me a D on everything I turn in no matter what, so I doubt this will be any different.”

An example of a Thanksgiving meal that Dr. Pincin’s students can forget about having.

When Dr. Hijleh was asked for a comment, he had little concern for the student’s plight: “as long as the man is willing to work for $26, 000 a year with no guarantee of work in six months time, I don’t care if he gives a 12-hour exam on Christmas day.”

President Gibson was traveling in a place with no cell reception or hotel wifi and could not be reached for comment.