After Tuesday’s Faculty Meeting, Professors Now Know What It’s Like To Be Treated Like Children

The TKC faculty held a contentious meeting on Tuesday in which they attempted to get clarity about their future at the institution from their overlords. The Administration is currently refusing to guarantee faculty contracts after the 2021-22 school year. Though the “independent” student newspaper, the Empire State Tribune, has yet to report on something so against the Administration’s interest, Professor Paul Glader was kind enough to live-tweet the meeting.

As they do with the students, the Administration was quick to offer unclear platitudes in response to difficult issues. Dean Leedy was brought in to dodge the best questions from the group. When asked about the meeting and their attitude towards the faculty, a spokesperson for President Gibson offered the following explanation: “We really care about our faculty. They are core to what we do here. Instead of giving specifics as if everyone in the room is an adult, we like to emphasize how much we love them instead. We spend most of our time dealing with children, and some children are older than others, but the strategy is the same: deflect with how much we care.” President Gibson attended the meeting via a dial-up connection in a Texas hotel so he was “unable” to hear any of the questions from the faculty.

One faculty member was furious at the way the group was being treated, “do you think I worked so hard to get ‘PhD’ after my name just to be treated like I treat my students?” Another knew something was off from the beginning, “when I saw that they provided a decent lunch, I knew we were about to get some terrible news. I thought the school was closing, so when I heard it was the usual parent-to-child BS, I was actually relieved.”