The Imperial Tribunal released the following statement Friday afternoon: “Though we are inclusive of all opinions and lifestyles, no matter how wacky, Dr. Thornbury was not nor never has been associated with The Imperial Tribunal. Stop asking about it.” This…
After some time serving as Faculty Advisor to The Imperial Tribunal, Dr. Thornbury will become the Chancellor of the paper and will no longer have any actual responsibility. His rapid physical deterioration had nothing to do with the decision. He…
The Imperial Tribunal is pleased to announce that Dr. Gregory Alan Thornbury will be serving as its faculty advisor from now until the end of time. Nothing foreseeable could change this relationship, and we look forward to all the great…
The King’s College Admissions Department announced that it will be creating a Tinder profile for the school, an unorthodox move even for a school so desperate to recruit new students. While this move is considered risky by industry experts, the…
While men may still have a pay advantage in the postgraduate world, new data indicates that women have a massive leg up while still in school due to an industry largely off-limits to men: childcare. Young men are often forced…
In years past, students had to get creative in their search for easy sexual partners. Wrists grew tired from swiping left on hundreds and hundreds of King’s men. Those days are gone, however, with the emergence of the new app…
As the three candidates gave their final campaign speeches on Monday afternoon, many in the audience felt sexual tension radiating from some of the candidates at the front of the room. Victoria Fisher’s speech was off to a rousing start…
Candidate Brent Buterbaugh was once a notorious Chamberlain in the House of Lewis. Now he hopes his previous beat will see him in a new, cooler light. Mr. Buterbaugh has gone out of his way to recruit these drinkers to…
Many unsuspecting bystanders expressed confusion and surprise at hearing a crowd of Catherine Blanco’s supporters shouting “Yo Quiero Blanco” over and over again. The slogan is intended to be a show of support using Catherine Blanco’s last name. The word…
The King’s College’s Department of Student Development announced Monday that it would install “HonorCams” or honor cameras in the living room of all on-campus apartments. The cameras will send live feeds of each apartment’s living room to the Student Development…
