Dr. Gregory Alan Thornbury Named Faculty Advisor To The Imperial Tribunal

The Imperial Tribunal is pleased to announce that Dr. Gregory Alan Thornbury will be serving as its faculty advisor from now until the end of time. Nothing foreseeable could change this relationship, and we look forward to all the great and wise guidance such a respected individual could give to us. 

Dr. Gregory Alan Thornbury was born in 1970 under a blessed star. At the moment of his birth, two passing dog walkers chanced upon the hospital to see such a miracle as his birth, singing praises all the while. At age two, wise relatives from the east visited the young Thornbury bringing gifts. As Thornbury grew in wisdom and favor, he attended Messiah College, and graduated in 1993. He spent forty days in the deserts of Nevada living out of a van named the “Burning Bush” to receive his Master of Divinity from God Himself. 

Dr. Thornbury, self-portrait.

Dr. Thornbury graced The King’s College shortly after the defenestration of King’s former President, Dinesh D’souza. The staff had hardly finished shredding all D’souza’s photos before someone sighted a flashy bow-tie and the sound of a guitar coming through the revolving doors. The mob gleefully received him, no resume required. 

In 2021, Dr. Thornbury stepped down from his position as President of The King’s College and stepped up into the much higher honor as faculty advisor to The Imperial Tribunal. Dr. Thornbury is excited to finally be influencing a strategic institution that takes a stance on literally anything.