As tuition amongst American college programs focused on math and science continues to rise faster than inflation, The King’s College has cut its tuition in nearly in half and eliminated all meaningful scholarships in a move it says “demonstrates the…
Jessica Bearsnatcher is a student admissions counselor who came to work on Tuesday afternoon to find the lobby had been remodeled since she had left work at 11:45 PM Thursday night to head to Fall Retreat. Instead of the inviting…
Jake Touchbottom was surprised to find a new restaurant open in the fishbowl on Wednesday. But when he moved in close enough to look at the menu, he was accosted from behind. “VACCINE CARD PLEASE,” Brent Buterbaugh yelled through a…
After some time serving as Faculty Advisor to The Imperial Tribunal, Dr. Thornbury will become the Chancellor of the paper and will no longer have any actual responsibility. His rapid physical deterioration had nothing to do with the decision. He…
As the three candidates gave their final campaign speeches on Monday afternoon, many in the audience felt sexual tension radiating from some of the candidates at the front of the room. Victoria Fisher’s speech was off to a rousing start…
Blake Ashley was among the candidates for the 2021-22 Student Body President announced via an email from Student Services. Mr. Ashley is known for his two other, unsuccessful attempts at the highest job available to students at The King’s College.…
The President of the House of Reagan, Chad Brockwin, is under investigation for allegedly using house funds to buy over $7,000 worth of GameStop stock, Jonathan Sheaffer said Friday afternoon via email. This comes as the stock endured a “short…
A catastrophic cyber attack hit The King’s College on Friday afternoon. The attacker was able to access student data stored on the Pharos “Student Conduct Platform” that the Student Development department uses to track their student’s virtue. The TKC Administration…
During a faculty meeting Monday morning, the Rapture occurred. New York City as a whole did not notice much of a change, but millions of Christians across the world were lifted into the heavens to reunite with their Creator. The…
Dr. Talcott hosted a panel in the City Room on Thursday on the topic of what he argued was a literacy “epidemic” among women, by which he meant that there are way too many women who can read in the…
