This year’s SBP candidates were announced today via email from the current student body president, Brock Butterball. The candidates took it upon themselves to hold a press conference in the City Room to get the race off to a good…
The storied White Horse bar on Bridge Street has long been a haven for all but the most boring freshmen. Rural homeschoolers are often amazed at the ease with which someone who often mistakes himself for a twelve year old…
Jake Touchbottom was surprised to find a new restaurant open in the fishbowl on Wednesday. But when he moved in close enough to look at the menu, he was accosted from behind. “VACCINE CARD PLEASE,” Brent Buterbaugh yelled through a…
As the three candidates gave their final campaign speeches on Monday afternoon, many in the audience felt sexual tension radiating from some of the candidates at the front of the room. Victoria Fisher’s speech was off to a rousing start…
Candidate Brent Buterbaugh was once a notorious Chamberlain in the House of Lewis. Now he hopes his previous beat will see him in a new, cooler light. Mr. Buterbaugh has gone out of his way to recruit these drinkers to…
