Statesmanship Disbanded After it Fails Its Own Hazing Standards

The Statesmanship Institute was reportedly disbanded after it was found to have violated its own hazing standards throughout the 10-day summit. Student leaders from all over campus gathered together starting last Monday to learn what it means to be a student leader at The King’s College.

An internal panel of students, alumni, faculty, and Thomas Allen at the college ruled that the summit must disband, effective immediately on late Tuesday afternoon. The panel announced that the Institute’s own leadership violated many of its own rules, a decision lauded by dozens of leaders who feared being fired from their volunteer positions if their identity were revealed.

At the center of the complaint is the assignment of “meaningless or sometimes impossible tasks” to student leaders, a direct violation of the hazing policy. These tasks allegedly include the requirement to make freshmen “feel welcomed, loved, heard, seen, and known at the school” or handle “multiple breakdowns per week” without bothering the salaried employees. Other impossible tasks include working enough to survive, leading a house of whiny underclassmen, and maintaining a C average in their classes.

A student leader wondering how long until May

Other parts of the complaint hinged on the requirement that students not be caused “sleep deprivation.” It has been reported that student leaders spend at least 6 days a week hounding drunk students trying to navigate the subway without cell service, 7 days a week for SBA leaders.

The rules also prohibit the assignment of “unnecessary duties” a violation that the panel was quick to recognize by the very fact these volunteers are forced to spend 10 unpaid days of their summer listening to “leadership” lessons in addition to the lunch they must spend every week together “furthering themselves.”

After multiple attempts to reach Dean Leedy for comment on the crisis of leadership, The Imperial Tribunal was able to reach the Dean of Students at his beach house in Miami. Through his high fence, he offered the following comment: “I wish these students would realize the great value that we are providing them with this opportunity to work for their Houses without the distractions of pay, benefits, or a mentally healthy environment. How many times in history have young people had the success of an entire college placed on their unpaid backs? I wish I had the opportunity to do what they do.”

When asked about the potential for compensation for these student workers, a college spokesperson was quick to point out that student leaders can receive $100 a month off their rent that is only 3 times the market value of nearby apartments and they also receive a stipend that can cover 75% of the expenses of coming to the required meetings.

If you or someone you know has been affected by the hazing epidemic perpetrated against student leaders, the college has recommended you give TimelyMD a call. You are paying for it after all.