Dr. Hershey’s Shirt Tears to Briefly Reveal Superman Suit
Early Tuesday morning, it was reported that a student was heading to class at the King’s campus when she dropped her books. Dr. Joshua Hershey bent over to help her pick them up off the floor. As he did so, some of his distressed shirt buttons exploded from their position, shattering a nearby window and briefly revealing what appeared to be Superman’s suit below. Unfortunately, our reporters have been unable to recover footage of the event, and all of the initial witnesses have gone quiet, potentially due to the awe-inspiring power of Dr. Hershey’s irresistible charm.
Dr. Hershey has long been suspected of being a superhero, some freshmen have already noticed the superhuman circumference of his biceps, while juniors and seniors are wont to point out that he is the only professor at the school capable of grasping scientific truths. Meg Sticendamudd, a junior English major from Alabama, said this about the incident, “It all happened so fast, so it is hard to say exactly what happened. Dr. Hershey was walking with this girl, converting her to Christianity, I think. Just as she looked like she was about to confess her sins for the first time, she got so excited, she dropped her books. As Dr. Hershey bent over, a window exploded and there was this massive flash of light. I opened my eyes to see all of the girl’s books piled up in alphabetical order and the student on her knees praying. Dr. Hershey was nowhere to be seen.”
Brock Richman, a junior Finance major from Aspen, Colorado, also witnessed the scene saying, “I knew this guy was a superhero or an angel or something. I do have to say that I took him for more a Batman type, but this all makes a lot more sense. The free market is my favorite superhero but Dr. Hershey is my most secondest favorite now, I guess. I was wearing my sunglasses inside at the time, so the massive flash of light didn’t blind me. I saw the Superman logo with my own eyes. I have no doubt.”
(This is a breaking news story, any additional updates will be added as they develop.)