A scene of confusion erupted today on campus after Paul Glader was apparently caught teaching his class of aspiring journalists how to disembowel a strawman. Students reported that the moment an actual argument came before the class, Glader went into a craze against the nearest strawman (his students were asked to bring one every Friday to practice on). This strawman in particular was said to have a flowing, Moses-like beard. He began laughing maniacally and pulled out his phone to live-tweet the remainder of the bizarre scene. The students in the audience who desired to be popular clapped furiously.

Starr Juniper is a student in the class and an aspiring Twitter celebrity. She described the event as the heart of what Paul Glader has taught her about journalism. She defended Glader by saying, “I had always thought of journalism as a place to reveal the truth and to argue for the truth, but Glader taught me that journalism is solely about generating controversy on Twitter. At first, I thought this was antithetical to what it meant to be a journalist but he made me feel so bad about believing that so I had no choice but to change my mind. Now I relentlessly bully people for bullying others and it makes me feel great about myself.”

When asked for a comment on the accusations against him, Glader complained at length about a culture in which issues are not addressed directly, “If you have an issue with me teaching my Journalism students how to gut strawmen, come talk to me about it! As a journalist and a teacher, it is my responsibility to take a moral stand against moral stands that I do not think are moral or responsible. I teach my students to do the same.”